the two sides

This is not from me. But I will pass it along to you because it's good. Essentially, the whole idea is in quotes.

In a religious context we're always trying to earn our place. The more righteous I can be, the more relationship with God I can have. Or, in the new covenant, the more relationship with God you have, the more righteous He'll make you to be.

If you love me you'll keep my commandments. - John 14
Religious: Do you prove the loving by the keeping?
Jesus: Or [and this sounds better], if you get the loving right, the keeping takes care of itself.

Replace the shame, sin, performance, guilt, need, approval in our lives with "He loves me at my most broken." Everything else related to performance/religion pushes us away.

I think Jesus is trying to say to me, "If you love me, yeah, the commandments will take care of themselves." Will I receive that? I'd like to say yes more confidently. I will say, the Lord is working that into me. And it reminds me again that the day of salvation is today.

It boils down to this.
"If you get the loving right, the keeping takes care of itself."

Here's the warning, don't get caught in the commandment (Matthew 22:36-38), but rather in His love (1 John 4:19).

I need to know, really deep down know, that He loves me. I need that today a hundred times.